Donald Trump won’t leave me alone

Donald Trump won’t leave me alone

Ever since I saw him in Pensacola, Florida the other week, Donald J. Trump will not leave me alone. Each morning I wake up, turn on my phone and find more messages sent overnight. On just one morning this week I rolled over to find emails from him titled ‘Chaos’, ‘Rigged’ and ‘We’re gaining momentum.’ Another said ‘The left hates you, Douglas.’ He doesn’t know the half of it.

Clearly my email address has been shared. Because in just one morning I also got emails from Mike Pence (‘We’re closer than ever’), Eric Trump and bewilderingly — for I cannot see what fresh constituency she brings — Eric’s wife, Lara. Perhaps I shouldn’t have handed over my details when signing up for the Pensacola rally. I feel like one of those early users of the internet who actually responded to the Nigerian emailers offering part-ownership in a diamond mine.

Anyhow, even if you don’t receive his emails, you might have guessed by the desperation that Trump has lost the election. ‘Let’s finish this thing’ is one of this morning’s emails. Yet it seems to me that the thing is finished already, with America now having to pull off the most difficult imaginable set of juggling tricks.